"Oh please don't throw me in the briar patch," Brer Rabbit begs Brer Fox in one of the most famous scenes of reverse psychology in all of literature.
As all readers--even children--understand perfectly, Brer Rabbit wants nothing so much as to be released into the briar patch, where he will enjoy a territorial advantage over all would-be predators, including Brer Fox.
In this story released by CNBC's Ben White, Brer Rabbit is apparently still with us in the form of Wall Street--and the briar patch has morphed into a VP slot for Elizabeth Warren.
We're supposed to believe that Wall Street is shouting, "Please don't make Elizabeth Warren your VP" at Hillary Clinton--as if Wall Street lobbyists wouldn't love to see Warren removed from her current position of power in the senate to a position of powerlessness as Clinton's veep.
Did White have a straight face as he wrote this nonsensical attempt to hoodwink citizens into imagining that finance industry lobbyists are wailing, "It's true that Warren has supported legislation to protect consumers against financial fraud as a senator, but the absolute nothing that she will be able to accomplish as VP is what really has us scared. So if you name her as your VP, then it means we no longer support you!"
If and when Clinton does name Warren as her VP choice, her campaign will presumably point to this development as evidence of Clinton's dedication to reining Wall Street lobbyists in when it signifies nothing so clearly as letting them run rampant.
Who does Ben White think he's kidding?
And more to the point, if he's committed to being this bad at his job, shouldn't he have considered a less public line of work?